With my awesome truth-telling niece, Marissa, when she was just a wee baby. Best quote from her, "No, I don't want to give you my hair." She is now 7 years old.

With my awesome truth-telling niece, Marissa, when she was just a wee baby. Best quote from her, "No, I don't want to give you my hair." She is now 7 years old.

I’m physically a bald woman. There is an inherent efficiency in existing publicly as such. It slices through communication mayhem and bullshit because facial expressions, eyes, language, and body language just can’t hide the truth. And I have an excellent “blink” read on those things. After ten years of collecting data, my accuracy is stunning. (And of course it is. I’m the only judge.) Yeah, yeah, I've had a couple solid misses but for the most part, I’m on point and know how to pivot in most situations. (I’m an expert with the suspecting elderly male.) To be fair, I have always leaned on my intuition more than any of my other senses so it was already lurking about anyway, but being bald really honed in on that skill for me. And you know what? People are much more beautiful, compassionate, and vulnerable than I ever intuited with hair. 

It’s a funny statement to make but it’s true. I think of life with hair and without hair because when I lost my hair, it was a defining point in my life when my peripheral world vision was stretched and widened. I believe people want genuinely to talk openly about their pain and sorrow. They want to know they are not alone. Everyone has a bald spot, I have learned. They want to talk about how they are a 15-year cancer survivor and are nervous the cancer came back or that they were just diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease and are devastated or that they feel suffocated by their marriage or that they are still grieving the loss of their brother who died 20 years ago or they are taking anti-anxiety meds and they teach meditation for a living. But they want to talk about it if they are given an easy entry-point. Apparently being a bald woman is an easy entry-point. Because you know what? Those stories I mention aren't from people who knew me, they were from strangers I met in passing, in cafes, on Bart, through acquaintances. 

October 2012, in my office.

October 2012, in my office.

I go through phases of wearing fancy-style hair when I just want to blend-in and when I have hair on, I get nothing from people and revert to thinking everyone is a rockstar and has a super amazing life and suffers from no pain, just as their Facebook profile states. The glimmers of humanity I've been privy to as a bald chick have been downright breathtaking and it reminds me in those moments that the truth is always lingering just below the surface, I just have to open myself up to create that entry-point or just take my hair off. I never know which would be more efficient or less scary. I keep thinking of a world where if we were to just start every conversation with the most honest thing on our minds, what would happen? 

But the point of this post is to not ponder those kinds of questions. I'll save that for later. The point of me sharing this slice of my life is to explain the beginning of my love affair with the truth, honesty, and intentions and how all of that has fueled my personal and professional life. The truth is probably our most versatile and valuable tool . It is free and we all have it in our toolbox. Yet, it often goes unused because somewhere along the lines, we were nurtured to not use it. The truth is a very efficient means of communicating and building a foundation to anything. I start with the truth and work up - in almost everything I do - in my relationships, in my business, in my heart. I find that everything just naturally falls into place thereafter and there is no time wasted. I don't say any of this lightly. Don't be mistaken. I am fully aware that speaking the truth is way easier said than done and that sometimes a white lie is just the better option.

So when I preach the good word about efficiency, simplicity, and getting yourself uncluttered - digitally, emotionally, etc. - I’m referring to them as entry-points to getting to your truth; to creating mind real estate for the truth to bubble up for you. They are simply vehicles. My truth is not that I am bald or that I am Filipino or that I hate grammar or that I get a little social anxiety even when I'm entering a room full of amazing, sweet people.  It it is that I am honest, fearless, loving, and a little bit freaked out all at once. I let the rest bubble up from there in whatever way that means. 

You are not your your twitter feed or your instagram pics or that mistake you made five years ago or all that weight you just lost. You are so much more. Happy truth-seeking to you and you and you.

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.
— Hans Hofmann

Comment